Reflections

The game here is obvious and of course I love all the animals and miss them a great deal when we go into town. I can’t sleep without the hippos laughing me to sleep at night. But there is more to Moremi then the game. That does sound cheeky, but obviously not meant to be. ;-)

These are the reflections of Moremi. Everywhere there are reflections. We head out at first light in the morning, and in the afternoon not till 3pm to catch last light. Providing mirror like images in all the water we pass by in such wonderful light.

These images always set me into my own reflective state of mind. My mind revolving around itself in a combination of all of my life experiences, all the things I’ve had the privilege to see, all the things I’ve had the privilege to do, and all of the life choices I’ve had to make. I ride rooftop on Nythai and think back on all the emotional highs and lows of life and everything in between. The loves of my life, the good and the devastating and the one that got away. The success and the failures. The happy and the sad times and those all too difficult times. The amazing people in my life, and those who have disappointed. These times of reflection belong only to me. My life and my reflections are mine and mine only. Mine is the only one like it in the whole world. It is one of those rare moments where something is yours and yours only to be grasped.








Like the reflection of a water bird in a pond at last light, or a dead tree fallen into the flood water with it’s mirror image staring back at itself. There is only one other like it in the world, and that is it’s own image forcing itself back onto it. My image forcing itself back onto me.



Only I have done all of the things in the exact same way at the exact same time, with the exact range of emotions, and my unique sequence of thoughts about what I was doing and why I did it. I have my own unique way of reacting to what I have seen, what I hear, what I feel, and how I express myself about any given situation I encounter from day to day. When I reflect back on my life and think to myself what if I had done things differently or reacted differently, or said things differently in this time, or that...Did I do some things I shouldn’t have done? What if I had made some decisions and choices opposite of the ones I actually made, how different would my life be today? Not that I would want it any different, side from having my father back in my life. I have no regrets. My life is directly tied to the results of the choices I have made, and the messages I have sent out to the universe, and to my own mirror image whilst staring at myself and asking what next?

I can’t say I believe in hind-site. While yes, of course if we had it we would make different choices, but really if you did would you have had the pleasure of learning what you have from the choice you did make? I think with hind-site our lives would be boring and we as individuals wouldn’t grow.

I beleive life is about choices. You can choose to be a person who is simply a result of what has happened in your life,Or "Intentionally evolve and develop as a result of what has happened in your life."


I've learnt that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't blood related to you can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological. I am blessed with a step father who has always been like a father and never treated me as anything less than his own daughter, and he came with an extra sister for me Kimberly, a step mother who having never had children of her own loved/loves me as hers. I have Marilyn and Dwight of whom took me in and taught me to be all that I can be and again I never felt as if I was anything other then family and at home with them, and with them came an extra brother Jamie and and extra sister Marissa. I had such love from my father and such love in my brother Paul, and sister Jacqueline. My uncle Dan, who like a package when I was a little girl sort of "came with my dad" he was the "other" man in my life, and my Aunt Risa who appears to be my biggest fan along with my uncle Joe... nothing wrong with that. I have the grandmother of all grandmothers, really they don't come like her any more in the dictionary for Granny, you will see her picture. Same for my grandfather, he is what all grandfathers should be. And their 60 plus years of marriage is a testament to me (and all) that love does last. I could go on and on.... point is I had/have more love and more people in my life to be overly blessed. And eternally grateful.

I have learnt that where ever you are that is where you were meant to be. Though choices I have made have seemed impetuous to some (o.k. most), the sort of serendipity my life has been amazed by could only have come with such. As a result of this I have learned that there is a time for departure even when there is no certain place to go.....

Reflections of my life allow me to look back and make a sober survey of my triumphs and failures, loves and losses, good, bad and indifferent. As I look back on my life and gaze into life's mirror, I see the person I’ve always wanted to be. That is not to say I don’t have a lot of growth and learning to do, I certainly do and I can’t wait for each curve in this winding road called life to show me what is next and what lesson I will be taught. But so far, I am happy with where I am and wouldn’t change a thing about my past. Not one bit of it, not even the bad bits. My past has formed who I am today. And good or bad along the way, it’s made me who I am now.

Moremi, and it’s reflections have been a sort of therapy for me, and not just in the healing process of dealing with the too early loss of my father, in my own process of self awareness and self reflection that hopefully comes with life for all, it has been painfully and joyfully therapeutic. And in this has sent me to places internally I’ve never been before. I’ve realized the turning points in my life thus far. I’ve never been one afraid to venture out, to test myself, I have no fear of change, rocking the boat or the unknown even with the hand life has dealt me I’ve always pushed the boundaries with an “it’s just what you do, get it done” attitude (instilled in me by my father, “I don’t care how you do it, just do it and do it right”.)

I don’t predict that I will write the next great novel, or discover a cure for anything, I won’t create a business and make millions. But I will live the life I want, and I won’t ever have the regrets that come with not having tried or done something or loved someone I wanted to along the way. This is the only life we will ever have and so it’s our only chance to get it right. And so I aspire to do so.

All of this has reminded me of a great Robert Frost poem, and if I remember correctly my brother Paul’s favorite;

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference



"I have inherited a belief in community, the promise that a gathering of the spirit can both create and change culture. In the desert, change is nurtured even in stone by wind, by water, through time"